At some point we decided dating needed to be efficient. We took something that has always been random, uncomfortable, exciting, confusing, and completely human, and started trying to optimize every part of it.

We turned people into profiles, attraction into a swipe, interest into a match, and getting to know someone into a chat box, and now we’re entering a world where AI can choose who we should date, tell us what to say to them, and even write the message for us.

That’s not where dating should be going.

Love has never been efficient, and it’s not supposed to be. You’re not supposed to know everything about someone before you meet them, have an algorithm tell you that you’re compatible before you’ve even been in the same room, or have AI figure out how to flirt with someone for you.

The awkwardness is part of it, rejection is part of it, wondering if someone likes you, getting nervous before you walk over, saying something stupid, realizing you have chemistry with someone you never would have chosen from a profile, or going on a date that ends up going absolutely nowhere, that’s literally dating.

We got so good at avoiding rejection that we also started avoiding each other

Dating apps removed a lot of friction from meeting people, and some of that was useful, but somewhere along the way we went too far.

If every interaction starts behind a screen, you never have to walk across the room, read someone’s body language, or figure out whether there’s actually chemistry until you’ve already spent days or weeks messaging them. We’ve created an entire system that allows us to feel like we’re dating while spending a huge amount of that time alone on our phones, and then we wonder why walking up to someone at a bar suddenly feels terrifying.

We’re out of practice.

Technology should get us back to each other

The answer isn’t getting rid of technology, I built a dating app, obviously I believe technology has a place here. The problem is that we’ve been asking it to do way too much.

Technology should help with the part where it actually adds something useful, are they single, are they interested in me too? Great, now put the phone down and go talk to them.

That’s the entire idea behind Radius.

If you’re at a bar, restaurant, café, gym, park, or somewhere else in real life and you notice someone, Radius lets you see if they’re another single Radius user. You can privately show interest, and if they feel the same way, you’ll both know.

Then the app has done its job, you have to go talk to them.

Radius shouldn’t be better at dating than you are, it shouldn’t write your opening line, carry the conversation, or build a relationship for you, it should give you the information you need to make the first move and then get out of the way.

Maybe the next evolution of dating tech is less dating tech

We’re moving toward a world where almost everything can be automated, dating shouldn’t be one of those things.

We’re humans trying to fall in love with other humans, we should start acting like it.